what I am going to be doing a year from now.

Right now, I have no time to write or paint. No time to do anything but my homework and more homework. I hate living like this.

Well, if I don’t get my student loan I’m going to probably have a lot of free time on my hands. I had some great ideas today on what I want the blog to look like, but didn’t have my tablet so I couldn’t mark them up.

I’m really disappointed in my dad. He is such an ineffectual loser, letting his mother die with no qualms about being 300 miles away. He has no emotions. I want to have a talk with him, but I have no idea what I’d say. I need to write him a letter. Someday when I have time.

Someday I’ll clean off my desk. Someday I’ll clean my room. Someday I’ll stop staying up until 2 a.m. (I have stopped, it’s now 3 a.m.). Someday I’ll finish my homework on time. Someday I’ll pay off my credit card. Someday I’ll get to work early.

…los voy a tratar a todos como mis esclavos!

Oh my god my birthday party was fucking amazing, we partied until 5 a.m.

Megan had just come from a Lara Croft lookalike contest…she won and got $500.

Then Christen got out the luchador masks!

We had a showdown with switchblades!

Then, of course, the obligatory group photo. This was the origin of SKULL TITS.

More skull-titting action

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7930179032565948901
SKULL TITS. ’nuff said.

Then we headed down to this parking lot party outside of Lipstick

Impromptu photo shoot, Christen looking hot as always

(woo, a bunch of pictures too lascivious to post)

We all ended up changing genders…and Christen became a man

We partied until 5 a.m., it was fucking amazing.

I took Christen out for her 21st birthday at Old Ironsides with Hector and Mario. I got her a cake and champagne and we lit all the candles in her doorway and surprised her. We had so much fun, one of her friends was DJing and he was great!

First legal drink (a Cosmo, the first drink I legally got when she took me out for my 21st).

That was such a fun night, we ended up going to two places to eat in search of chicken wings (I don’t think we even ended up getting chicken wings) but was had a great time.

Earlier in the week we also protested Prop 8 at the capitol. Our hella cute signs:

Today Mario and I (I did 90% of the baking) made the cutest fucking cookies today!

They had dinosaur sprinkles. Could there be anything cuter?

I also got a bunch of LED Christmas lights, I’m going to hang them up tomorrow, since I probably won’t have time around Thanksgiving. Then I can just turn them on. I love Christmas lights. I’m an atheist, but that doesn’t stop me from being festive. And really, Christmas was always a pagan holiday, and I’m all down for celebrating the winter solstice.

I can’t sleep tonight ’cause I’m feeling kind of sick…also, I can’t find a mini-USB cable (I used to have four) to download the pictures from my phone, so I have to send them to flickr from the phone (making tagging useless). Cleaned out the comment queue, I don’t get notification emails about the queue because it’s spam 99% of the time, so I get it whenever I do a post.

I’m going to try and sleep now, but it may not work.

I’m not writing much, but I justify it in that I’m getting my A.A., which takes precedent. This is probably one of the least productive months ever in terms of my writing.

Actually, that’s not true. I have been writing endless video reviews and essay questions related to my human geography class. I have to say before this class I had inklings about what the world was really like, but in this class my lens through which I view the world has been sharpened to crystal clarity.

I just read the most incredible novel (on which I have to write a paper tomorrow), called Ishmael by Daniel Quinn.

I picked it up and about 10 p.m. tonight. It’s 3:30 a.m. I couldn’t put it down.

I feel like I’m the only one that knows the secret of our culture and I’m afraid I’m going to die tomorrow and have no one to talk to about it.

Read it.

My finals will probably be on December 9, the first Tuesday of finals week. Until then, I will be inundated with homework. I’m not saying I won’t write anything, but I’m not going to be terribly prolific until then. You know what? I should post my homework assignments because they are basically just first-person reactions to a video that we saw.

I’m kind of a teacher’s pet now… my geography professor devoted 10 minutes of the beginning of the class to talk about Albert Camus, since I had indicated that I read some of his stuff on this questionnaire that we had filled up the first day of class. It asked what the most interesting thing about you was and I couldn’t think of something without running aground on the shore of being unable to define originality, so I wrote: “being unable to answer simple questions without turning them into an existential quandary on the nature of originality.” He comically asked the class what that meant.

And then he read nearly my entire video review (he reads snippets of our reviews that he thinks are interesting to the class).

The video was about Remote Area Medical, this group that used to provide medical in developing countries but due to the worsening healthcare situation in America does free medical intervention. It was a 60 Minutes story.

My first reaction to this video was to go to the organization’s website and see if they were going to have one of these anywhere near California. Unfortunately, they seem to stick to the Midwest.

And here we come to one of the central ironies of our culture. We are supposed to care for the other members of our society and help them if they need help, but to give medicine to your fellow citizens? That’s socialism.

I know that there are people that game the system, but I’ve worked my whole life and I go to school… I think I would consider myself a productive member of society. However, I haven’t had the money to see a doctor in six years. How much would it really cost to just have one yearly checkup for every person in America? But, of course, we can spend trillions bailing out Wall Street and fighting wars, but making sure our neighbors aren’t sick or dying is just not an option.

I think it really cements the point that our government has ceased to be a democracy (or, to be more precise, a Republic). America is an oligarchy run by the top 1%. If we really had control of our government, the bailout bill wouldn’t have been passed. The vast majority of people opposed it, yet it happened anyway.

And the more I continue this diatribe, the more I sound like the hippie talking heads ridiculed in the mainstream media during superficial coverage of the World Trade Organization protests. There’s nothing the poor can do to challenge the rich. That seems to be the central lesson of the 21st Century.

After he read it, he asked us what the poor people of Afghanistan had done to rebel against the rich. Hello, 9/11.

I’m so sick of my life. I have no time during the week to do anything but read my geography and study.

There is shit going down, like the Prop 8 vigil tonight and people invited me but I can’t go.

I feel isolated and it’s raining and I FUCKING HATE OVERCAST RAINY WEATHER.

It’s how I spent my entire childhood.

I’ve been sick since this weekend, but I did have tons of fun seeing Crystal Castles and then Yelle on Halloween. This week is my payback for that, I guess. My grandma is careening faster and faster towards death as the workload increases and increases in my classes.

Big test tomorrow in math. I’m not really prepared, but whatever. I’ll barely finish my geography homework in time. And I have to memorize all the countries in South America. The first question is “What is your culture?” Here’s my preliminary answer:

The culture I live in is mostly defined by superficiality. It is structured around the media, which invest our lives with artificial perceptions and arbitrary values. It is a culture of excess and of religious hypocrisy. There are two classes, the upper class, and the poor. The poor support the rich and work like dogs without healthcare or the guarantee of a place to live if they become ill. For an ostensibly Christian culture, it cares little for others and is incredibly xenophobic, racist, and sexist.

But yeah…cute Yelle picture!

Yelle was so cute! She put on an amazing show. We were in the front row with these slutty girls that were all over us, I ended up high-fiving with one of the girls to “One More Time,” which was fucking amazing. This fat bitch was trying to get into my spot in the front row, but she did not succeed…everyone was pushing from the back of the Mezzanine to the front, and we were squashed against the dividers, but it was okay ’cause Yelle was ON FIRE. Everyone was rocking the fuck out.

Mezzanine doesn’t let you take pictures (they are real dicks about it), but here’s more cute shit from the Yelle show.

Lymbyc System, the band that opened for Crystal Castles:

I don’t have any pics of the CC set because it got too insane (an extraordinary mosh pit).

Last, but not least, my Doom Gen moment driving home last week:

Someday I will be able to have fun again and not be bogged down with tons of reading and homework.

Someday.

I’m just stressed out because I’m supposed to go to the DMV to transfer my car to my aunt, but I don’t have an entire morning to waste at the DMV. I can’t fail my math test, it’s just not an option. And I can’t miss a single assignment in geography since I skipped one class to go to Crystal Castles.

Only three more weeks. Only three more weeks.

If I repeat it enough, maybe it’ll be true.

Fuck eight week classes.